To Women in Ministry
I had the privilege of speaking at the missions class at the Latin American Bible Institute this past August. One of my favorite things to do in any group is open up the floor for questions. I was looking forward to the questions I would receive from these students, and wasn’t surprised when one of the girls asked me, “Is it hard to be a woman in ministry?”
I could feel the girls shift forward. The eyes that had been fixed on cell phones or doodle-filled notebook paper slowly shifted upward. They were mostly young, 18-23.
They needed what I needed at their age. Permission. Permission to move forward into what God was calling them to do. They needed someone to tell them it was okay and that they were needed in Kingdom work, that everyone wanted them there.
I answered her as honestly as I could, and I share my answer to that question with you here today.
Not everyone believes women should be in ministry. There are people with solid arguments, much better debaters than I, who can tell me all the reasons that women shouldn’t be in leadership in the church. This is a fact that has been true for generations and is true today.
There are men and women who have looked me in the eye and told me that God didn’t create women to be leaders, He doesn’t call women into leadership, so I must have been mistaken thinking I had a place in this Kingdom work. There are strong, bright young women who have told me they don’t want to be like me. They believe, truly and deeply, that the ministry to their future husband and children is the only calling a woman is allowed to have. That they can’t imagine why a woman would desire to have any responsibility to make decisions or lead people.
There are entire organizations who won’t support women as leaders. The organization I work with absolutely supports women in leadership but their French counterparts won’t credential female ministers and in fact blatantly exclude women from their pastoral get-togethers.
I looked at this room full of Latino students and told them that there was a time they would have been excluded from ministry because of the color of their skin. I told them there was a time that it was understood that ministry was a place for white males.
“Do ministry anyway,” I told them.
We get caught up in the need for approval, the need for everyone to like us or be on our side. We get caught up in social justice and gender inequality and fight! fight! fight!
Do ministry anyway.
And people will argue with you, confrontationally or passive-aggressively. And it will hurt your feelings. And people will use gender-exclusive language and they will refer to pastors as “men” and you will be invited to pastor’s wives events even if you are single, but not to the pastor’s events. And you may not see yourself represented on the platform or around the conference table.
Do ministry anyway.
And not everyone will understand and some will exclude you for being female. It comes with the territory. It is not a burden to bear or a wall to be knocked down. It is, for some, an unchangeable reality.
Do ministry anyway.
We are not accountable to the attitudes of others and our calling is not to change the tides of gender equality or to make everyone a feminist. Our mission is to share the message of Christ with the hopeless and the lost. We find a place to make that happen, and we make it happen. And we come alongside the women younger than us to be a cheerleader in their lives and to let them know that yes, there is a place for you.
We encourage one another and we cheer for one another’s successes and we show up and are faithful to that which we are called to. And we do ministry anyway.
15 Comments
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Great post Kelly. Honest and exactly what I say to my students. Do ministry anyway. Doesn't matter what people think or do, God approves and we are to be faithful. Looking forward to having you back on the continent! Hope to meet you one day. Blessings on your fundraising!
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Norma
Kelly, thank you for such honesty and the truth behind why women in ministry is difficult. Speaking as a Latina, we face greater challenges in our own community, church, district and sections. May the Lord gives us wisdom, courage and favor.
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Kelly, I think there are a lot of women in ministry in evangelical-ish organizations that are tired of having the arguments. They have heard enough by now to know that there is good exegetical and theological support for the ministry that they do everyday. I have been praying for about a year about whether it is time to host a large scale event for evangelical women pastors where it can simply be assumed that you belong where you are. My wife and I spoke about this again last night. And then the women there could get on with the training and conversations that the men get at thousands of events every year without having to prove that you really should be there. I know that events don't change cultures. But until we change a culture, you and your female colleagues just have to keep being pastors.
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I am in agreement with Jeremiah Gibbs :) In fact, I would love to be a part of an event like he is talking about. How do we change culture? That is the question we all ask ourselves and are working toward. I think one part is by what you mentioned in your blog - by doing ministry anyways, and another is by educating the younger generation. Others such as John Piper, and the Neo-Reformed have focused on this and are intentionally propagating Complementarianism overseas now. It is crazy. Jeremiah spoke about conferences - This may be something worth attending http://www.qideas.org/womenandcalling/. I would love to go to this conference to check it out. Have you heard about this?
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kellydelp
Hey Debbie! :) I don't think we can always change culture. The beliefs of others, whether or not we agree with them, are beyond our control. We have to focus on what we CAN control which is our influence over those we are leading. Great thoughts!
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Debbie Fulthorp
...maybe we can't always change it, but I am hopeful that it can change. It happens too with those in key positions of leadership. I am grateful for leadership like Dr. Wood who has led the AG in a significant change of culture. Thanks for the blog - you are an excellent writer.
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What a timely word!! The enemy will use whatever he can to distract us from our calling -- especially the trap of 'defending' our calling. I learned a long time ago that God called me and He is the one who will defend it - if needed. My responsibility is to walk in love and proclaim His Word. God is greater than any obstacle we face and it is He who open doors of ministry. Our lives are in His hands!! Thanks again for a refreshing word!
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Nancy Tofflemire
Kelly, you definitely put the time into training for ministry. I watched you transform from as a worship team number to a leader. You were learning the craft, embracing Christ as you were growing and being shepherded. I am proud of you, Kelly Delp, for going through official ministry training as well. You are a great example of a young woman who has a dream and a big call from God on your life. You are bold and speak the truth in love.
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Fabulous post, Kelly!! So true & so well written! Keep up the great work of ministry & writing--we need your voice. I'm cheering you on!!
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Ruthie Oberg
I LOVE THIS GIRL!!! Articulate, passionate, bold, and realistic...you're my kind of ministry partner. Next time you are home on itineration in the Midwest you've got a service booked with my church...just so I can have lunch with you! :)
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I am so privileged to work for a church that affirms women in ministry over and over. And even with that affirmation, it's still sometimes hard. It makes me sad that women experience this because women as a group are so powerful and could accomplish so much if they just stepped into who they were created to be with confidence. I find that even when my confidence wanes, I press on because being a woman in ministry is so worth it! I love that you say, "Do it anyway." Yes. Do it anyway. Great post!
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"We are not accountable to the attitudes of others and our calling is not to change the tides of gender equality or to make everyone a feminist." I'm so glad you said this. I struggle so much with feeling a call to ministry, submitting to my husband, and the tug or war in Christian American culture in relationship to women in ministry. When people push it in the church as if it's a political agenda, It make me run in the opposite direction. When I realize I can embrace the personality and gifts God gave me, I begin to feel guilty for them. I struggle to find a balance. But knowing women in ministry do not ALL push it as an agenda puts me at ease, makes me feel like maybe it is the right thing and I don't need to feel guilty for who I am OR push the agenda either. And thanks for being my best camp counselor and caring enough to answer my letters afterwards :)
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Desiree
Amen!