They Named Me Bold
I gotta be honest. I used to not get this rambling about women in ministry. I really didn’t understand what the big deal was. Move along. Do what you’re called to do. Stop rallying.
And then I had a realization.
I didn’t get not feeling like you have permission to do ministry. Because I was never taught I needed it.
My parents named me Kelly. I had a small wooden plaque on my bedroom wall from as early as I can remember telling me in a 1980’s font that my name meant bold. Brave.
The first scripture my parents gave me to memorize was Psalm 56:3 – “What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.”
When I was in sixth grade and wrote in a class assignment that I wanted to be a pastor, no one corrected me. No one argued.
When I was a senior in high school, I got to preach on our last night in youth group. (The sermon was terrible – but I got to preach.)
That same guy who let me preach at 18 hands me a microphone to preach about once a month at our church in Paris. He has never prefaced me by calling attention to my being a woman. He’s never applauded himself for letting a woman speak.
A year and a half ago I stood on our district council business floor and publicly (but nicely!) disagreed with all the men on the platform, including my father. I could feel my dress shaking against my legs. “Did you see your dad’s face??” someone asked me after. “No…I couldn’t look at him,” I replied nervously. “Oh,” they said, “he was so proud of you.”
I guess I don’t understand the women in ministry debate because I was in college before I even heard of the notion of it being an issue.
I had never heard that women had an innate need to be rescued until I was told that men needed us to be damsels in distress for them to feel like men.
I honestly did not know that I was supposed to be perpetually scared in order to be feminine. I was raised to be brave. To trust Christ when I was needing a rescue.
I understand more with each year. I am not swayed in my confidence, but I understand.
When I am told as a guy ends a relationship with me that I am too much of a leader. When he removes himself from my life because I missed that whole ‘needing rescue’ thing and learned to be brave.
When I hear female pastor friends of mine tell the horror stories they have encountered.
When I am excluded from an interdenominational prayer meeting because I am a woman.
But I grew up with a mom that carried anointing oil in her purse right next to her lipstick. Who laid hands on the sick. Who participated in conversations with men about God – who encouraged her brothers in Christ with no pretense. She carefully applied her makeup each Sunday and then cried it all off – if not in worship, in prayer for someone. She named me bold.
I grew up with a dad that never told me I couldn’t be in ministry. He never even warned me that I would face opposition due to my being a woman. He always told me I was pretty and he took me on a date for my 13th birthday and then almost 20 years after that laid his strong hands on my head and ordained me into the ministry. He named me brave.
I grew up with parents and other adults who prayed I would seek the Holy Spirit. They prayed that more than they prayed I would find a spouse or that I would be happy. They prayed Presence into my life. They named me bold and taught me about the Holy Spirit, who makes it true.
Why pray for our daughters to be filled with the Spirit if we are not going to let the Spirit speak through them? It is to us to name the next generation of women bold. Brave. Women prepared to seek first the Kingdom – the now and not yet coming of the Gospel to our world. It is to us to teach them that we have been redeemed beyond the need of rescue – and that what time we are afraid, we can put our trust in Him. It is to us to listen when the Spirit speaks through them.
Let us call our daughters bold. Let us tell them they are brave. Let us teach them to associate femininity with wasting their lives for the poor and powerless rather than being powerless themselves. Let us teach them that their rescue comes from Christ. Let us treat their callings to ministry as normative – let it be as normal as them saying they want to be a teacher or a mommy when they grow up. Let us, the women in the now, preach in heels and red lipstick or flats and no makeup, preach 8 months pregnant or unmarried and childless, lead worship with our baby strapped to us, lead the church with blonde hair curling around our shoulders or cropped up close to our head. Let us open the door wide and let the little girls in the church see us praying before service, worshiping our makeup off, serving communion to our brothers and sisters. Let them see us, fully and proudly feminine, whether we are adoring our husbands and corraling children or coming home to an empty house.
Let us release our daughters into the Spirit’s wind. Let us name them Bold.
35 Comments
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Ariel rainEy
As someone named "God's Lion," I completely agree with this!
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Kelly, I really enjoyed reading your blog. I remember your Mom from Gal's Get Aways at lake Placid and the Women's convention in Indy. Didn't you lead worship at one of those conventions? Anyway, you and I are very blessed women because we are AIG women. Our denomination gives us women that wonderful freedom to be used of God. I've never faced any ugliness thankfully. I don't take it for granted. I've taught Adult S.S. and preached at my church. There's nothing to be compared to ministry is there? I feel so bad for other women who don't have the opportunities we have. Bless you Kelly. So cool to meet another Indiana AIG woman who knows the same friends I do. Bless you.
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Wow. Thank you, Kelly. We are proud of you.
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RebekaH Sanders
I *LOVE* this! On so many levels, but I'm going to quote this line most often. It needs to be shouted from the rooftops! Love, love, love it! "Why pray for our daughters to be filled with the Spirit if we are not going to let the Spirit speak through them?" I didn't get it either. I was empowered by my church. Women were seen as equals in the church I grew up in. But then I went to college. And entered into rural ministry. I get it now.
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Loved this kelly!...So thankful for your momma too, she led us in many ways..I too, fought the idea women could not be in ministry and God proved otherwise..Praise God! You are a wonderful example to the world and great asset to the Kingdom..keep preaching Lady..I know momma is smiling...and crying
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Kelly. My heart. You always capture what I wish I could say to the world. We're BFF's who've never met in person. <3!
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Gloribel
Beautifully said. Thanks for pouring your heart out in such a delicate way to reveal a hard truth. Well done!
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I LOVE this! As a woman who has felt the need for permission, this speaks to the depths of my soul. From my teen years I've been told or had it implied that I can't speak/lead in the name of Christ because I'm a woman. God has been dealing with that and correcting my heart for the last several months. Thank you for these words!
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LOraine Jenkins
Kelly, this is one of the most powerful posts I've read about women in ministry. You could have been telling my story as I was raised the same way. I never was told I couldn't be a preacher until Bible School. And there it wasn't by professors but other students. I have a daughter. My prayer for her is she will be bold and anointed.
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Perla Silva
Wow! What a great article, I can relate. Thank you!
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Amen! Such an awesome word!
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Standing ovation, Kelly! I didn't grow up like you. It's only now, in my early 40s, that I'm walking out of the small room I was put in when I was a girl. I love that you reminded me of our namesake. Bold. I think I had that same small plaque on my wall. I also had a bookmark that said Kelly originally meant "Warrior Maid." I kept that in my Bible. The irony is not lost on me now. So well written. Your parents are my example, as I seek to raise both my girls and my boys to think the world you describe is normal, that they believe THIS is the Kingdom.
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kellydelp
Warrior maid - I love that!
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Lois hill
Kelly, Thank you for being bold. We have always encouraged our son and daughter the same, to get the most out their relationship with our Lord, to share him broadly, and to put him first. Our daughter is now an Engage student in Nicaragua working daily to bring the Lord to the people there. Go boldly ladies, sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness in front of the army for the battle is ours.
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Kelly, you NAILED it, my friend! Powerful, beautifully-written post! Your boldness inspires many, me included. Proud of you and cheering you on. Your parents aptly named you, bold friend.
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Vicki
Yes! Such a powerful word!
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Nancy Tofflemire
Kelly! I love what you wrote. Since I met you in late 2005 or early 2006, I have seen you walk through circumstances with bravery. You have dignity. You live like you are brave even when you feel vulnerable. I am proud of you! Thanks for sharing a little bit about the way your parents taught you. Your example to fellow sisters in the Lord is phenomenal! You are the epitome of a woman in ministry.
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Yes, yes, yes! It also took me until college to realize this was a problem, but because I was raised with four other sisters to believe I could do ANYTHING......in the secular world. Bible college taught me about the conversations, the books, the "differences", but here I remain, the same girl who was going to be a US Supreme Court justice at age 6. ;) Thanks for sharing--AMAZING blog!!
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Kelly, This moved me to tears! I have struggled with this issue the 30 years I have been in ministry. However, I will no longer be silent. I will not back down and I will claim mine and every other's women authority the Holy Spirit has given to us to go and minster the way God has called each of us. I will not let man or woman demean me by telling me I am not in compliance with the "church", I'd rather be in obedience to my Father God than to stand before the throne trying to explain why I didn't use my gifts. Some will call me radical and that is okay, because I'm radically committed to Jesus! Thank You for being Bold &Brave!
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proud of you Kelly. Also, the comments are almost as fun to read as the post. Keep up the great work.
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Brian Tolliver
Boom! Thank you Kelly.
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Maria
Thank you for sharing your story! A little bit about my story.... I was brought up Pentecostal in an AG Church in Puerto Rico. My Grandmother was the Senior Pastor of the Church; she was one of the first women ordained to ministry in Puerto Rico. She had a bigger church than most of her male peers and was very dedicated. It was not strange to see a strong woman in my family or in ministry. I had no questions in my mind that a Woman could follow God's calling in her life. The headship was taught but it was not the centrality of the message and we were taught personhood not womanhood or manhood. We were taught to follow the HS. All this to say, that to me Women had no limits in ministry and we could perform any function as the HS directed us. That being a wife or a mother did not define us, it was just part of who we could be.... But all this certainty changed when I arrived to the US. We came and my beliefs got challenged right and left but not in an adult conversation. I was corrected by pastors because of my beliefs . I was confronted with ideas that I didn't even know existed.. like egalitarians and complementarians.. Womanhood and manhood... That women should not be senior pastors because the male is the head...All that I had lived came to the floor... and I felt so inadequate. I wanted to be in line with God but all my beliefs were contrary to what they were teaching... This challenge has made me navigate through a sea of books throughout the last 7 years. Even though most of the books have helped me in some way, I still have a little voice inside of me that asks me continually, what if I am wrong and if I am wrong, How can God create me a woman and less than men? It is so refreshing to read your story..
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kellydelp
WOW! This is why it's so important to be instilled with great female role models and lots of validation when you are young - then when you are confronted with other points of view you know truth and have boldness to continue with ministry! Blessings to you!
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Maria
Thank you for sharing your story! A little bit about my story.... I was brought up Pentecostal in an AG Church in my country. My Grandmother was the Senior Pastor of the Church; she was one of the first women ordained to ministry in my country. She had a bigger church than most of her male peers and was very dedicated. It was not strange to see a strong woman in my family or in ministry. I had no questions in my mind that a Woman could follow God's calling in her life. The headship was taught but it was not the centrality of the message and we were taught personhood not womanhood or manhood. We were taught to follow the HS. All this to say, that to me Women had no limits in ministry and we could perform any function as the HS directed us. That being a wife or a mother did not define us, it was just part of who we could be.... But all this certainty changed when I arrived to the US. We came and my beliefs got challenged right and left but not in an adult conversation. I was corrected by pastors because of my beliefs . I was confronted with ideas that I didn't even know existed.. like egalitarians and complementarians.. Womanhood and manhood... That women should not be senior pastors because the male is the head...All that I had lived came to the floor... and I felt so inadequate. I wanted to be in line with God but all my beliefs were contrary to what they were teaching... This challenge has made me navigate through a sea of books throughout the last 7 years. Even though most of the books have helped me in some way, I still have a little voice inside of me that asks me continually, what if I am wrong and if I am wrong, How can God create me a woman and less than men? It is so refreshing to read your story..
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Hey Kelly, Tears pricked my eyes every time I read they named you bold and brave. Gosh, what awesome parents. I've been in senior ministry for over 30 years now, and have determined to make sure that every one who looks to be as a role model is named bold and brave through my input into their life, but this... this puts it so beautifully - strong, brave, bold and filled with grace. Thanks so much.
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Kelly Victoria
"Warrior Victorious" That is what I was taught my name meant. My parents knew what they were doing when they named me. They raised me up to be a warrior victorious and I am forever grateful for that. Jesus was bold in his life and that is how we should all, men and women alike, be! Wherever God leads us and what ever path we take in this life we should go boldly proclaiming his love knowing that we are all made in his image!
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As I read I see your heart.. to that I say a 'hearty' Amen.
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I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love this! Thank you! Thank you for me, and thank you for my daughters! Thank you for the Body of Christ!
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Tina Sessoms
Thank you Kelly for serving our Lord, not for the title but because He has called you.
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Judy Rachels
Thank you for this fine article. These words come straight out of your faithful and fruitful lifestyle. You inspire so many of us. Our world needs more bold and courageous Christians than ever.
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Carrie
Thank you Kelly, My husband Jason knew you at Lakeview. Although we've not had the opportunity to meet in person, I appreciate your strength in The Lord. It's role models like yourself that I set before the girls our youth group, that I give as proof a Godly life as a woman in ministry is possible & as the understanding I hope to raise our future children with. Be encouraged that you are loved, appreciated, supported & meeting needs of those around you. Thank you & may God continue to bless you!
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Amy Morgan
Great, Kelly!! Love it! I have two beautiful, Jesus-loving girls who have been through alto. I intend fully to encourage them to be bold and strong and do whatever the Lord is telling them to do! You are a great example, my friend! Bless you, sweet lady!