What You Wear to Your Mom's Funeral
I had made so many decisions over the previous days. How was I going to sum up the life of my incredible, larger-than-life mother?
And the Spirit Hovered.
Creation is happening as the Spirit hovers. You may not see it or feel it. But the Spirit is hovering.
Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)
There was a piece of my mother that remained absolutely her own. When I hear this song, I see her that way - not as a mom or a wife or a woman doing ministry.
If She'd Been Healed...
If she'd been healed, we would have had a great story. A great testimony. But the thing is, sometimes the testimony isn't that God gave you what you wanted - it's that He made you into the person you couldn't become without the tragedy.
When Hosannas Turn Silent
I walked through the train station on Wednesday like I was in a fog. Everything seemed muted and fuzzy and I noticed an acute absence of that joy, that wild praise that had driven my steps earlier in the week. That bursting-with-love heart I had carried had been replaced with the sad bruised one. Even breathing hurt.
On Grief.
Some days she is there to remind me of favor and blessing. She sometimes slips in where I least expected her to remind me how very - lucky is not a strong enough word - lucky I am to have had something so wonderful, and it must have been quite wonderful to grieve it so strongly. Sometimes she holds my hand and won't let me forget beautiful things.
This Winter
In so many ways this winter has been a reflection of this journey through the valley of death. We wait for spring. Each day we open the door desperate to feel warmth where the cold has cut through. Just when we think it's over, it comes back again, just as bad as the worst day.
Grief is Awkward.
Words can't fix it and acts of service can't change anything. To dance on eggshells with someone hoping and praying that you don't say the one wrong thing is cumbersome. Do they want you to ask? Do they want to avoid the topic? Should you offer words of comfort or say nothing?